Archive | September, 2013

There will be days like this

29 Sep

When no one steps on my dreams there’ll be days like this When people understand what I mean there’ll be days like this When you ring out the changes of how everything is Well my mama told me there’ll be days like this

I woke up this morning with a sharp pain in my right thigh. It was painful to lay down, even more painful to walk. The big thigh muscle was contracted as hard as a stone. I spent half an hour attempting to loosen it, massaging, stretching and crying.

In fact the whole week has been challenging.  In itself, this is not a real problem. When you’ve had MS for 15 years, you are used to the down phases. However, If I “admit” feeling tired and low, eight out of ten persons’ first reaction is to blame it on me: “You do too much!”

Let me clarify: I am not judging or accusing individual people here. What strikes me is that this is actually the most common reaction! As if driven by an instinct…

Why?

Maybe it is human nature. We simply need an explanation, a cause and effect relation. You are tired because you work too much. How reassuring our world is when everything can be explained! We need things to make sense, don’t we?

But nobody realizes how harsh it is to say that. Not just the blaming but also the underlying assumption that since you have MS, there is only so much you can do. I remember reading somewhere that “Disability resides in the society, not in the person”. By telling me what I can do, and what I cannot do, you “disable” me.

Why is it so difficult for us to accept that sometimes things just are this way? Sometimes you cannot find an explanation. Your vision is blurred today because it is. Full stop. Living with MS teaches us to accept.

But not to give up!

Because we also know that there are good days too. When everything falls into place like the flick of a switch. When you don’t need to worry.

I wish you all one of these days!

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