23 Sep

First year at university, I’m 18. I have my own studio in the City of Kings, Wars, and Champagne. Life is sweet.
This morning, I attended a lecture on the Elizabethan Times.  Our lecturer is so passionate about it. I always enjoy sitting in the theatre and watch her tell us about the Throckmorton plot and all sorts of intrigues about ugly Elizabeth I.
Then I decided to go and walk around the old centre. The facades, the statues, the streets keep reminding us that Kings were crowned in the cathedral. Rheims is stuck in the past.
But it’s time to go back home and get ready for the next lecture. The next bus to Joliot-Curie is in ten minutes.
I’m daydreaming, wondering what would have happened had Francis Throckmorton’s plan to restore the Catholic Church in England succeed. Wandering about how life used to mean so little in the past….
But I feel someone watching me. I look to my right. A short stocky red-haired man is gazing at me. A shiver runs along my spine. I look away.
When the number 13 to Croix Rouge arrives, he gets on the bus after me. “Come on, it’s just a coincidence”, I try to convince myself. “Maybe he’s attending the same lectures. The campus is so huge.
”Have you ever felt a gaze weigh on you? Like a thick heavy wrap. Blinding you.
The next stop is where I live.
I get off.
I don’t need to turn around. I know he’s there.
Quickly I get in the building. The doors of the lift are open. I run in. Press 4. Too late. He’s in too.
Everything goes fast. He says something. I can’t hear. He grabs me. I fight back. The doors open. I jump out. Hands on my breast. Hands between my legs. He throws me against the wall. And I scream. I scream so loud my voice breaks.
So loud the whole ten-storey building must hear me.
So loud he gets a fright and leave.
So loud but nobody comes. Nobody stops eating their lunch to see what is going on.
This wasn’t rape. There was “close contact but no penetration” but my hands are still shaking when I recall this day. I was so stupid … and so lucky!
My stomach is hurting when I think of the 75000 women raped in France alone in 2011.. How many more didn’t report the crime? How many more attempts to break a woman? In South Africa, 175 women are raped every day… How many would help them?



2 Responses to “Rape”

  1. kathymb December 7, 2012 at 11:18 pm #

    Hi there. I read this yesterday. It made me think of this your blog post from a while ago. It made me feel and understand better the trauma you are describing. It is a brave thing to speak about but so important to read about! Bisous (?) 🙂 X http://galwayindependent.com/stories/item/5020/2012-49/%27None-of-this-was-my-fault%27

    • tamingthewalrus December 8, 2012 at 11:43 am #

      I am not sure why i felt the “urge” to write about it in this blog, at this moment… but i’m glad I did. Thanks for sharing this article & have a wonderful day. xx

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